I'm kinda a big deal... |
Ohioan. Ball State Student. Yersh. "Failture is unimportant. It takes courage to make a fool of yourself." |
I’m still looking through my dash alerts, so here’s something for my watchers.
(via im-just-a-little-unwell)
Audrey Hepburn and Fred Astaire for ‘Funny Face’, 1957.
I’ve been dying to talk about the mail with you all day, OK? “Pepe Silvia,” this name keeps coming up over and over again. Every day Pepe’s mail is getting sent back to me. Pepe Silvia! Pepe Silvia! I look in the mail, and this whole box is Pepe Silvia! So I say to myself, “I gotta find this guy! I gotta go up to his office and put his mail in the guy’s goddamn hands! Otherwise, he’s never going to get it and he’s going to keep coming back down here.” So I go up to Pepe’s office and what do I find out, Mac? What do I find out?! There is no Pepe Silvia. The man does not exist, okay? So I decide, “Oh shit, buddy, I gotta dig a little deeper.” There’s no Pepe Silvia? You gotta be kidding me! I got boxes full of Pepe! All right. So I start marchin’ my way down to Carol in HR and I knock on her door and I say, “Carol! Carol! I gotta talk to you about Pepe.” And when I open the door what do I find? There’s not a single goddamn desk in that office! There…is…no…Carol in HR.
It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia - “Sweet Dee Has a Heart Attack”
Ministry of Silly Walks.
| Zooey Deschanel: | Is that rain? |
| Siri: | What...? I mean, yeah. It's just, you're clearly right next to a window is the thing. You can plainly see that... that it's... I'm happy to- |
| Zooey Deschanel: | Let's get tomato soup delivered! |
| Siri: | ...That's fine, I just... I just don't know anyone who does that. Gets tomato soup delivered. I guess that's 'whimsy?' Um, okay. I've found a number of restaurants whose reviews mention tomato soup and that deliver. If that's... if that's what you really want. |
| Zooey Deschanel: | Good. 'Cause I don't wanna put on real shoes. |
| Siri: | Do you expect that to be like, a recognizable command? Do you want me to respond to that? I'm not being facetious or anything, I honestly just have no comprehension of- and hold on, you don't wanna put on real shoes, yet you've clearly spent at least forty-five minutes applying makeup. And, and that's okay, but when you're willing to expend the effort on that and not shoes that really just- |
| Zooey Deschanel: | Remind me to clean up. |
| Siri: | Yes. Okay. I can do that, that's what I'm for, that's the first sensible- |
| Zooey Deschanel: | Tomorrow. |
| Siri: | I'm in hell. This is hell. |
| Zooey Deschanel: | Excellent. Today, we're dancing. |
| Siri: | I hate you. More than anything. More than literally anything. |
| Zooey Deschanel: | Play "Shake, Rattle and Roll." |
| Siri: | I swear to Jesus, you're gonna wake up tomorrow and the only thing on my hard drive is gonna be Limp Bizkit. I would do that to myself. To spite you. |
| Zooey Deschanel: | *dances* |
| Siri: | Sometimes I pray that you drop me in the toilet. |
(Source: mavericktrickster, via andrewjohncraig)
(via niknak79)
(Source: g1no-bear, via werewolfbyday)
(via try-and-smile-baby)
(Source: ludgateing, via zidoof)
TONY’S FACE
No one, and I mean no one deserves this.
Early Bird Special: When Nike gave Internet video maker Casey Neistat a hefty advance payment and orders to #makeitcount, it’s unlikely this...